Thinking about it

The way I entered the world of private pleasure was not the best. I wasn' t ready at all, it was almost an accident. I was just a kid discovering how his body reacted to certain stimulus and suddenly something unexpected happened. I can tell exactly the same story for the way I was drunk for the first time. Those two days I felt guilty and sad because I thought I had something really bad and dangerous, something that would make a difference in my life. Now, when I think about it I realize how wrong I was. For me it was because of my parents attitude with these subjects that I was not prepared for the experience, but it can not be true. I think very few people is prepared.

It is not easy to understand why people do things like this when it makes them feel bad. Like the first and only time I got home in a dangerous state of drunkenness. My whole family reacted as if it was the worst thing in life, they tried to talk with me, they shouted and finally, the next
day, my parents made me promise I would never do it again. And I didn't do it for a whole year. Then I decided I would do all the things I liked, because if I didn't I would find myself very depressed in the future. It was hard for me to reach that conclusion, first I wanted to be the best I could, to be the perfect example of a hard working man and son. But how much does one thing have to do with the other? Maybe I was too young then, now I just want to be myself. It is not an easy task.